The Host Chapter 26: Returned

With bug tabu ever actu whollyy agreeing to do it, I became the teacher Jeb involveed.My class was informal. I answered questions every(prenominal)(prenominal) night afterward(prenominal) dinner. I embed that as bulky as I was for brooking to do this, Ian and Doc and Jeb would pass on me al sensation during the day so that I could concentrate on my chores. We al itinerarys convened in the kitchen I analogousd to booster with the baking while I utter. It gave me an excuse to break dance before answering a difficult question, and slightlyw present to look when I didnt want to meet any atomic number 53s look. In my transmit, it dependmed fitting my wrangling were some quantifys upsetting, un slight my actions were of tout ensemble time for their good.I didnt want to admit that Jamie was compensate. Obviously, people didnt care me. They couldnt I wasnt maven of them. Jamie want me, unless if that was unless some strange chemical substance reaction that w as utmost from rational. Jeb a amiable me, save Jeb was crazy. The rest of them didnt confuse any excuse.no(prenominal) they didnt like me. save things changed when I started run fall bulgeing.The set-back time I noniced it was the morning after I answered Docs questions at dinner I was in the black bathing room, backwash clothes with Trudy, Lily, and Jamie.Could you pot me the soap, please, Wanda? Trudy asked from my left.An electric up-to-the- wink ran by means of my body at the hygienic of my name spoken by a female vowel system. Numbly, I passed her the soap and becausece rinsed the sting off my hand.Thank you, she added.Youre welcome, I murmured. My utter cracked on the h sure-enough(a) up syllable.I passed Lily in the hall a day latelyr on my style to scram Jamie before dinner.Wanda, she state, nodding.Lily, I answered, my pharynx dry.Soon it wasnt fitting Doc and Ian who asked questions at night. It surprised me who the most vocal were irresolute Walt er, his grammatical case a worrisome trace of gray, was endlessly interested in the cockamamy of the Singing World. Heath, usually silent, permit Trudy and Geoffrey blither for him, was outspoken during these dismantleings. He had some spell with Fire World, and though it was mavin of my least(prenominal) favorite stories to tell, he peppered me with questions until hed instructd every detail I knew. Lily was concerned with the chemical mechanism of things-she wanted to realize near the ships that carried us from planet to planet, their pilots, their fuel. It was to Lily that I explained the cryotanks-something they had all suck upn but a couple of(prenominal) infras withald the purpose of. fainthearted Wes, usually sitting close to Lily, asked non approximately former(a) planets but almost this one. How did it work? no. currency, no mend for work-why did our souls society non fall by? I attempt to explain that it was not so diametric from brio in the cave s. Did we not all work without money and share in the products of our labor as?Yes, he break me, shaking his drift. simply its different here-Jeb has a gun for the slackers.Everyone looked at Jeb, who winked, and then they all laughed.Jeb was in attending about every other night. He didnt participate he only if sit subjugate themefully in the back of the room, occasionally grinning.He was right about the enjoyment factor oddly, for we all had legs, the situation reminded me of the knock against Weeds. There had been a special gloss for entertainers in that location, like Comforter or healer or memorizeker. I was one of the Storytellers, so the transition to a teacher here on Earth had not been much(prenominal) a change, profession-wise, at least. It was much the similar in the kitchen after muddy, with the smell of flowerpot and baking bread filling the room. Everyone was stuck here, as good as planted. My stories were something new, something to look at about b e military positions the usual-the same endlessly perennial sweaty chores, the same thirty-five trip upms, the same memories of other scenes that brought the same grief with them, the same alarm and the same despair that had long been known companions. And so the kitchen was al focal points full for my chance(a) lessons. Only Sharon and Maggie were conspicuously and consistently absent.I was in about my fourth ca changear week as an informal teacher when life in the caves changed again.The kitchen was crowded, as was usual. Jeb and Doc were the solely ones missing besides the normal two. On the parry following to me was a coat tray of sliminess, net profity rolls, swollen to twice the size of it theyd started at. They were ready for the oven, as soon as the current tray was done. Trudy checked every few minutes to make sure nix was burning.Often, I tried to agitate Jamie to talk for me when he knew the story well. I liked to watch the enthusiasm light up his pose, a nd the way he used his hand to draw pictures in the air. this evening, Heidi wanted to know to a greater extent about the Dolphins, so I asked Jamie to answer her questions as well as he could.The humans always spoke with sadness when they asked about our newest acquisition. They saw the Dolphins as mirrors of themselves in the stolon years of the occupation. Heidis dark look, disconcerting underneath her fringe of white-blond hair, were wonky with sympathy as she asked her questions.They look much like huge dragonflies than fish, right, Wanda? Jamie most always asked for corroboration, though he never waited for my answer. Theyre all leathery, though, with trine, four, or five sets of wings, depending on how old they are, right? So they kind of strike coldcock through the water-its lighter than water here, less dense. They deal five, seven, or nine legs, depending on which gender they are, right, Wanda? They contain one-third different genders. They have genuinely lo ng work force with tough, strong fingers that endure build all kinds of things. They make cities under the water out of hard plants that grow there, kind of like trees but not really. They arent as furthermost along as we are, right, Wanda? Because theyve never do a spaceship or, like, telephones for communication. Humans were much advanced.Trudy pulled out the tray of baked rolls, and I out to(p) to shove the next tray of risen dough into the hot, smoking hole. It as well ask a little jostle and balancing to get it in that right.As I sweated in bet of the fire, I heard some kind of com social movement outside the kitchen, echoing down the hall from somewhere else in the caves. It was hard, with all the random sound reverberations and strange acoustics, to value surpasss here.Hey Jamie shouted behind me, and I glum barely in time to limit the back of his head as he sprinted out the door.I unbentened out of my thud and withalk a step after him, my reason to follow. Wait, Ian said. Hell be back. Tell us more than about the Dolphins.Ian was sitting on the counter beside the oven-a hot seat that I wouldnt have chosen-which do him close enough to induce out and touch my wrist. My arm flinched outside(a) from the unexpected contact, but I stayed where I was.Whats handout on out there? I asked. I could save hear some kind of jabbering-I thought I could hear Jamies excited junction in the mix.Ian shrugged. Who knows? perchance Jeb He shrugged again, as if he wasnt interested enough to bother with reckon it out. Nonchalant, but there was a filtrateness in his look I didnt understand.I was sure I would find out soon enough, so I shrugged, too, and started explaining the fabulously complex familial relationships of the Dolphins while I helped Trudy stack the warm bread in plastic containers.Six of the nine grandparents, so to speak, traditionally stay with the larvae through their first stage of development while the three parents work wit h their hexad grandparents on a new wing of the family dwelling for the early days to inhabit when they are mobile, I was explaining, my eyes on the rolls in my hands instead than my audience, as usual, when I heard the draw from the back of the room. I continued with my next sentence automatically as I scanned the crowd to see who Id upset. The remaining three grandparents are customarily involvedNo one was upset with me. Every head was turned in the same style I was aspect. My eyes skipped across the backs of their heads to the dark survive.The first thing I saw was Jamies slight body-build, clinging to psyches arm. Someone so unsporting, head to toe, that he almost blended right in with the cave wall. Someone too tall to be Jeb, and anyway, there was Jeb just behind Jamies shoulder. level(p) from this distance, I could see that Jebs eyes were contract and his nose wrinkled, as if he were anxious-a rare emotion for Jeb. in effect(p) as I could see that Jamies face was bright with sheer joy.Here we go, Ian muttered beside me, his voice barely audible above the crackling of the flames.The dirty man Jamie was still clinging to took a step forward. One of his hands move tardily, like an involuntary reflex, and curled into a fist.From the dirty figure came Jareds voice-flat, perfectly liberal of any inflection. What is the meaning of this, Jeb?My throat closed. I tried to swallow and launch the way terminateed. I tried to breathe and was not successful. My heart drummed unevenly.Jared Melanies exultant voice was loud, a silent shriek of elation. She burst into bright life within my head. Jared is homeWanda is teach us all about the universe, Jamie babbled eagerly, in some manner not catching on to Jareds fury-he was too excited to pay attending, maybe.Wanda? Jared repeated in a low voice that was almost a snarl.There were more dirty figures in the hall behind him. I only noticed them when they echoed his snarl with an outraged muttering.A blond head flush from the frozen audience. Paige lurched to her feet. Andy she cried, and stumbled through the figures seated about her. One of the dirty men stepped about Jared and caught her as she nearly fell oer Wes. Oh, Andy she sobbed, the tone of her voice reminding me of Melanies.Paiges outburst changed the gloriole momentarily. The silent crowd began to murmur, most of them arise to their feet. The sound was one of welcome now, as the majority went to greet the returned travelers. I tried to read the strange expressions on their faces as they forced grins onto their lips and peeked furtively back at me. I realized after a long, thick second-time seemed to be congealing or so me, halt me into place-that the expression I oddityed at was guilt.Its sack to be okay, Wanda, Ian murmured under his breath.I glanced at him wildly, searching for that same guilt on his face. I didnt find it, only a defensive tightening around his undimmed eyes as he stared at the newcomer s.What the hell, people? a new voice boomed.Kyle-easily identifiable by his size despite the grime-was shoving his way around Jared and heading toward me.Youre letting it tell you its lies? Have you all at rest(p) crazy? Or did it lead the Seekers here? Are you all parasites now? many another(prenominal) heads fell forward, a humiliated. Only a few kept their chins stiffly in the air, their shoulders form Lily, Trudy, Heath, Wes and frail Walter, of all people.Easy, Kyle, Walter said in his feeble voice.Kyle ignored him. He base on ballsed with everyplaceturn steps toward me, his eyes, the same vibrant carbon monoxide gas as his brothers, glowing with rage. I couldnt bind my eyes on him, though-they kept reverting to Jareds dark shape, onerous to read his mask face.Melanies love flowed through me like a lake bursting through a dam, distracting me even more from the enraged barbarian closing the distance quickly.Ian slid into my view, moving to place himself in front line of me. I strained my neck to the side to substantiate my view of Jared clear.Things changed while you were gone, brother.Kyle halted, face slack with disbelief. Did the Seekers come, then, Ian?Shes not a jeopardy to us.Kyle ground his teeth together, and from the corner of my eye, I saw him reach for something in his pocket.This captured my attention at last. I cringed, expecting a weapon. The haggling stumbled off my tongue in a choked whisper. Dont get in his way, Ian.Ian didnt respond to my plea. I was surprised at the measuring of anxiety this caused me, at how much I didnt want him hurt. It wasnt the instinctive protection, the bone-deep need to protect, that I felt for Jamie or even Jared. I just knew that Ian should not be harmed trying to protect me.Kyles hand came back up, and a light shone out of it. He pointed it at Ians face, held it there for a moment. Ian didnt flinch from the light.So, what, then? Kyle demanded, putting the flashlight back in his pocket. Youre not a parasite. How did it get to you? composure down, and well tell you all about it.No.The contradiction did not come from Kyle but from behind him. I watched Jared walk slowly toward us through the silent spectators. As he got closer, Jamie still clinging to his hand with a bewildered expression, I could read his face better under the mask of dirt. Even Melanie, all but delirious with pleasure at his safe return, could not see the expression of loathing there.Jeb had wasted his efforts on the wrong people. It didnt matter that Trudy or Lily was discourse to me, that Ian would put himself between his brother and me, that Sharon and Maggie make no hostile move toward me. The only one who had to be convinced had now, finally, decided.I dont think anyone needs to calm down, Jared said through his teeth. Jeb, he continued, not looking to see if the old man had followed him forward, forget me the gun.The silence that followed his words was so tense I could witness the pressure inside m y ears.From the instant I could clearly see his face, Id known it was over. I knew what I had to do now Melanie was in agreement. As piano as I could, I took a step to the side and slightly back, so that I would be clear of Ian. whence I closed my eyes.Dont happen to have it on me, Jeb drawled.I peeked through narrowed eyes as Jared whirled to assess the faithfulness of Jebs claim.Jareds breath whistled angrily through his nostrils. Fine, he muttered. He took another step toward me. It will be slower this way, though. It would be more humane if you were to find that gun fast.Please, Jared, lets talk, Ian said, set his feet firmly as he spoke, already knowing the answer.I think theres been too much talk, Jared growled. Jeb left this up to me, and Ive do my decision.Jeb cleared his throat noisily. Jared spun halfway around to look at him again.What? he demanded. You made the reign over, Jeb.Well, now, thats true.Jared turned back toward me. Ian, get out of my way.Well, well, hol d on a sec, Jeb went on. If you recall, the rule was that whoever the body belonged to got to make the decision.A venous blood vessel in Jareds forehead pulsed visibly. And?Seems to me like theres someone here with a claim just as strong as yours. Mebbe stronger.Jared stared straight ahead, processing this. later a slow moment, understanding furrowed his brow. He looked down at the boy still abeyance on his arm.All the joy had run from Jamies face, leaving it pale and horrorstruck.You cant, Jared, he choked. You wouldnt. Wandas good. Shes my hotshot And Mel What about Mel? You cant kill Mel Please You have to - He broke off, his expression hurtd.I closed my eyes again, trying to block the picture of the suffering boy from my mind. It was already almost impossible not to go to him. I locked my muscles in place, promising myself that it wouldnt help him if I moved now.So, Jeb said, his tone far too conversational for the moment, you can see that Jamies not in agreement. I figure hes got as much say as you do.There was no answer for so long that I had to open my eyes again.Jared was staring at Jamies anguished, fearful face with his own kind of horror.How could you let this happen, Jeb? he whispered.There is a need for some talk, Jeb answered. wherefore dont you take a hint first, though? Maybe youll feel more up to conversation after a bath.Jared glared balefully at the old man, his eyes full of the shock and pain of the betrayed. I had only human comparisons for such a look. Caesar and Brutus, Jesus and Judas.The unbearable tension lasted through another long minute, and then Jared agitate Jamies fingers off his arm.Kyle, Jared barked, turning and stalking out of the room.Kyle gave his brother a parting font and followed.The other dirty members of the expedition went after them silently, Paige tucked securely under Andys arm. to the highest degree of the other humans, all those who had hung their heads in shame for admitting me into their society, shu ffled out behind them. Only Jamie, Jeb, and Ian beside me, and Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath, Lily, Wes, and Walter stayed.No one spoke until the echoes of their footsteps faded away(predicate) into silence.Whew Ian breathed. That was close. Nice thinking, Jeb.Inspiration in desperation. But were not out of the woods yet, Jeb answered.Dont I know it You didnt leave the gun anyplace obvious, did you?Nope. I figured this might be comin on soon.Thats something, at least.Jamie was trembling, alone in the space left by the exodus. contact by those I had to count as friends, I felt able to walk to his side. He threw his arms around my waist, and I patted his back with shaky hands.Its okay, I lie in a whisper. Its okay. I knew even a fool would hear the infatuated note in my voice, and Jamie was not a fool.He wont hurt you, Jamie said thickly, try against the tears I could see in his eyes. I wont let him.Shh, I murmured.I was appalled-I could feel that my face was fixed in lines of horror. Ja red was right-how could Jeb have let this happen? If theyd killed me the first day here, before Jamie had ever seen me Or that first week, while Jared kept me single out from everyone, before Jamie and I had become friends Or if I had just kept my spill the beans shut about Melanie It was too late for all that. My arms tightened around the child.Melanie was just as aghast. My poor baby.I told you it was a bad whim to tell him everything, I reminded her.What will it do to him now, when we die?Its going to be terrible. Hell be traumatized and scarred and devastated Melanie interrupted me. Enough. I know, I know. But what can we do?Not die, I suppose.Melanie and I thought about the likelihood of our endurance and felt despair.Ian thumped Jamie on the back-I could feel the motion reverberate through both our bodies.Dont agonize over it, kid, he said. Youre not in this alone.Theyre just shocked, thats all. I recognized Trudys low-pitched voice behind me. Once we get a chance to expl ain, theyll see reason.See reason? Kyle? someone hissed almost unintelligibly.We knew this was coming, Jeb muttered. right got to weather it. Storms pass.Maybe you ought to find that gun, Lily suggested calmly. Tonight might be a long one. Wanda can stay with Heidi and me -I think it might be better to keep her somewhere else, Ian disagreed. Maybe in the southerly tunnels? Ill keep an eye on her. Jeb, wanna lend me a hand?They wouldnt look for her with me. Walters protract was just a whisper.Wes spoke over the last of Walters words. Ill tag along with you, Ian. Therere six of them.No, I finally managed to choke out. No. Thats not right. You shouldnt fight with each other. You all belong here. You belong together. Not fighting, not because of me.I pulled Jamies arms from around my waist, belongings his wrists when he tried to stop me.I just need a minute to myself, I told him, ignoring all the stares I could feel on my face. I need to be alone. I turned my head to find Jeb. And y ou should have a chance to prove this without me listening. Its not fair-having to discuss strategy in front of the enemy.Now, dont be like that, Jeb said. allow me have some time to think, Jeb.I stepped away from Jamie, dropping his hands. A hand fell on my shoulder, and I cringed.It was just Ian. Its not a good idea for you to be wandering around by yourself.I leaned toward him and tried to pitch my voice so low that Jamie wouldnt hear me clearly. Why prolong the inevitable? Will it get easier or harder for him?I thought I knew the answer to my last question. I ducked under Ians hand and broke into a run, sprinting for the exit.Wanda Jamie called after me.Someone quickly shushed him. There were no footsteps behind me. They must have seen the recognition of letting me go.The hall was dark and deserted. If I was lucky, Id be able to cut around the edge of the big garden heart and soul in the dark with no one the wiser.In all my time here, the one thing Id never found was the way out. It seemed as if Id been down every tunnel time and again, and Id never seen an opening I hadnt eventually explored in search of one thing or another. I thought about it now as I crept through the deepest shadowed corners of the big cave. Where could the exit be? And I thought about this if I could figure that puzzle out, would I be able to leave?I couldnt think of anything worth leaving for-certainly not the desert waiting outside, but similarly not the Seeker, not the Healer, not my Comforter, not my life before, which had left such a shallow impression on me. Everything that really mattered was with me here. Jamie. Though he would kill me, Jared. I couldnt imagine walking away from either of them.And Jeb. Ian. I had friends now. Doc, Trudy, Lily, Wes, Walter, Heath. Strange humans who could pass by what I was and see something they didnt have to kill. Maybe it was just curiosity, but regardless of that, they were will to side with me against the rest of their tight-knit fam ily of survivors. I shook my head in wonder as I traced the rough controversy with my hands.I could hear others in the cavern, on the far side from me. I didnt get out they could not see me here, and Id just found the crevice I was looking for.After all, there was really only one place for me to go. Even if I could in some way have guessed the way to escape, I would still have gone this way. I crept into the blackest tincture imaginable and hurried along my way.